You Know Youâ€™re A Concealed Weapons Carrier If: â€¢You start your day selecting what clothes do not print. â€¢You only use a public restroom if you can get the stall that is at the far end against the wall. â€¢You donâ€™t mind stopping to help people stranded on the road. â€¢If you ever asked your significant other â€œdoes this 1911 make me look fat?â€ â€¢While shopping for a new belt, you select one by what goes best with your holster. â€¢You have at least 6 holsters for every handgun you own. â€¢Youâ€™ve ever used your CWP as a second form of photo ID, just because it looked like the most upsetting option for the liberal behind the counter. â€¢A major goal of yours it to get every CCW permit from every state that issue out of state permits. â€¢The most expensive part of your dress attire is that custom made leather holster you wear. â€¢Your hip has a cramp because you slept the wrong way on your holster last night. â€¢Your wife elbows you whenever she catches you giggling under your breath at unarmed mall security guards. â€¢If you find that you do have your gun and super fancy holster, spare magazines, 5 billion watt flashlight and pepper spray â€¦ but, you forgot to grab your car keys. â€¢Youâ€™ve bought the same gun in blue steel for practice and stainless for carry. â€¢Instead of family photos in your wallet you have concealed carry permits. â€¢You have trouble remembering you cell phone number but you know every concealed carry law from every state. â€¢You walk away from some loudmouth toughguy you would have punched in the mouth 15 years ago. â€¢You plan driving vacations to take the â€œscenic routeâ€ so you only drive in states where your permit is good. â€¢You elbow your wife when she says, â€œI forgot, we need to swing buy [insert off-limits building].â€ â€¢You buy pants based on pocket depth. â€¢You know how to disassemble, clean, lube, and reassemble a multitude of sidearms, long guns, shotguns, and small mortars, but the VCR still flashes 12:00. â€¢It takes you 15 minutes to pick which one of your carry guns would be perfect to wear on your latest outing. â€¢Your wife asks, â€œIs that a new shaving lotion or Hoppes #9?â€ â€¢As soon as you get home you clean lint off your gun but have not run the sweeper on the carpet in a month. â€¢You buy postage stamps from the supermarket and mail everything from the UPS Store to avoid the Post Office. â€¢You dread having to go to the Airport and the Courthouse. â€¢If you have ever bought a Thunderwear holster to see if you can CCW with a Speedo bathing suit with your 1911. â€¢You have the same number of holster/gun combos that your wife has shoes/socks.