Who Needs a Gun at the Beauty Shop?
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703 Posts
Sorry about that person using an assault hammer, really. It also gives all us handymen and handy women a bad name. I guess now assault hammers will be banned on E-Bay too, along with the infamous $1,000 assault rock. However, I hear that in Washington, D.C., you CAN register a hammer, so long as it was purchased before 1976. You have to keep the hammer locked in a Mayor Fenty-approved locked tool box, separate from the nails. Mayor Fenty was also considering additional legislation involving slotted and Phillips head screwdrivers and ice picks for the new ban, in effect until the case is heard at the Supreme Court. Women were especially concerned that fingernail files might also be included. Stay tuned September 5th, when we might hear about the brief filed on behalf of D.C. Now that should be good reading.
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30,350 Posts
Two Suggestions
One way to help solve crimes like this would be to have unique serial numbers or series of symbols and characters stamped onto the head of all hammers. That way, the medical examiner's office can get these tool mark impressions from the victim's corpse, and the hammer can be traced back to the killer, and the crime is solved. After many such crimes are solved, killers will stop using hammers to kill, and we'll all be safer.
Or we'll have to start regulating the sales of files and sandpaper and grindstones...
Second point: Rather than identify the bad guys by tracing hammers, I propose to do it with fingerprints and DNA.
After a couple of the old women pull pistols from their purses and empty them into the bad guy, the cops can swap generous samples of his blood and body tissues from the floor and walls of the business. If the women are good shots, or just lucky, the bad guy's fingerprints will be available, found on the end of his bloody fingertips, out in the parking lot, still attached to his rapidly-cooling corpse. This will lead to his identification with a high degree of scientific certainty, and the police will be able to close the case without a trial.
One way to help solve crimes like this would be to have unique serial numbers or series of symbols and characters stamped onto the head of all hammers. That way, the medical examiner's office can get these tool mark impressions from the victim's corpse, and the hammer can be traced back to the killer, and the crime is solved. After many such crimes are solved, killers will stop using hammers to kill, and we'll all be safer.
Or we'll have to start regulating the sales of files and sandpaper and grindstones...
Second point: Rather than identify the bad guys by tracing hammers, I propose to do it with fingerprints and DNA.
After a couple of the old women pull pistols from their purses and empty them into the bad guy, the cops can swap generous samples of his blood and body tissues from the floor and walls of the business. If the women are good shots, or just lucky, the bad guy's fingerprints will be available, found on the end of his bloody fingertips, out in the parking lot, still attached to his rapidly-cooling corpse. This will lead to his identification with a high degree of scientific certainty, and the police will be able to close the case without a trial.
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