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PawPaw x 3
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What it all comes down to is basic psychology. Spanking is negative reinforcement. Note that negative reinforcement is not inherently bad, only the opposite of rewarding for good behaviour (although positive reinforcement has shown to work better on the risk/reward scale.) At that age, they are working out their environment and discovering that for every action there is a consequence. They begin to associate that reaching for/grabbing the keys= a little pop on the rear end. The same goes for every other facet of life. What happens when they say, "momma" or "dadda" for the first time? You reward them with positive reinforcement in the form of happy faces and excitement, to show that that was the desired behaviour. For every action there is a reaction. A little startling pop is not going to hurt the baby, only reinforce that there are reactions to every action. They will then associate that every time they reach for the keys, I get a smack on the butt.

Although this is at the most basic level. As children grow older, the risk/reward scale becomes much more fluid, and as we have all heard, the frontal lobe is in charge of choosing between good and bad, overriding and suppressing socially unacceptable behaviour, and deriving consequences for actions, and doesn't fully develop until the early 20's. Hence welcome to the challenge of parenting :)
:cheers::applause::righton:
 

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Nice form! But he overdoes it a little.

Sensitive content, not recommended for those under 18 Show Content
 

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I have 2 girls, 2 & almost 5. We don't spank. We don't do timeout. We don't yell (easier for my wife, harder for me). We don't send them to their room. We talk, a lot. They learn about their environment and the world through discussion and a lot of trial and error and engagement with us and others. We very rarely have to have "a serious talk" b/c they did something the shouldn't. You'd be surprised how far that will get you. I also try very hard not to tell my kids no. I save no for when it really means something and they know I mean it when it happens. My 2 yr old is more challenging than my 5 yr old but she's still figuring out the world.

My wife and I decided when our oldest was about 2 that we didn't want to spank anymore. It worked, but we didn't like the behavior modification. She would tell you that she wouldn't do certain things b/c she didn't want to be spanked. I wanted her to decide not to do things b/c she knew it was a bad idea and I wanted her to tell me why it was a bad idea. It's hard when they are that young but they get it sooner than you would think. I think this method is a lot harder frankly, but I hope they are better people for it in the long run. I'll let ya know in 15-20 yrs.

I wouldn't ever tell anyone not to spank. I can't know their kid or situation. This approach has worked really well for us and I like to share our experience so people can consider alternatives.
 

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I'm kind of a big deal
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I would recommend not spanking if you're showing anger/frustration in the moment at the very young ages - as it comes across wrong.
Ha! Someone should have taught my parents this (especially dear old dad). :?

We don't have kids or plan to but if we did I would not spank but I know others can do it without anger and I'd never be so presumptuous as to tell anyone else how to raise their kids. I have more of a problem with people who don't discipline their kids at all.
 

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Ha! Someone should have taught my parents this (especially dear old dad). :?

We don't have kids or plan to but if we did I would not spank but I know others can do it without anger and I'd never be so presumptuous as to tell anyone else how to raise their kids. I have more of a problem with people who don't discipline their kids at all.
Hopefully you don't think I was presuming he or anyone else in this discussion is doing that or I am telling anyone what to do.

I was just offering a tip based on experience.

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If they understand why they got spanked, and you gave them an opportunity to not get spanked, they're old enough.

The difference is, never spank when you're angry. If you can calm down and find it in yourself to explain, and then spank, you're not doing anything wrong. Not criticizing your original post, just anger and spanking don't mix in my world view.

Just my opinion.
 

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Discussion Starter · #31 ·
Today during playtime, he would grab something (anything) and start to play. Each and every time he would try to bite/put in mouth - all I had to do was say "no" for him to stop. I would then give him his teething toy to chew on, or bite. He remembered.

I wasn't trying to teach a lesson for him to not put anything in his mouth, I didn't want him putting objects/toys in his mouth that would damage or hurt him. At 10 months he knows "da-da" is just watching his back. I wanted him to understand the word "no" and apparently, he gets it now.
 

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So, about what? In a month or three? he'll be old enough to walk, if not already, and you can teach him to go outside and cut his own switches. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #33 ·
So, about what? In a month or three? he'll be old enough to walk, if not already, and you can teach him to go outside and cut his own switches. :)
Hee hee :rotfl2:... my grandpa was the only one to ever make me and my brother do that.

I brought him a tiny little stick with a leaf on it.
 

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Hopefully you don't think I was presuming he or anyone else in this discussion is doing that or I am telling anyone what to do.

I was just offering a tip based on experience.

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No, not at all. I was just commenting on my experience.
 

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So, about what? In a month or three? he'll be old enough to walk, if not already, and you can teach him to go outside and cut his own switches. :)
LOL, I had to do that. The first few times I came back with a srawny little switch, THEY went a got one. I did NOT enjoy that. IF I had to get one the next time, I made sure it was sufficient and too large like they would have retrieved.

Ahhh, the memories of being a child. Pretty good !!!!!
 

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Hee hee :rotfl2:... my grandpa was the only one to ever make me and my brother do that.

I brought him a tiny little stick with a leaf on it.
My youngest son will be 1 in just a few weeks. He already gets a stearn voice and re-deirected when doing something he knows he should not be doing. Anyone who tries to tell me (a father of 4) that a 1 year doesnt know when they're doing something wrong...well, I can't tell you what I think of you and your opinion because I may get warned/banned.

After the stearn voice, if he reaches for it again whatever hand was involved in the reach gets popped.

Now...all of this talk about spanking and discipline makes me laugh out loud. Especially the part about the switches!! Not because I think it's insignificant...because it makes me recall one the scariest moments in my life.

I apologize in advance for the length of this story, but it's on-pointe and educational...

I was between 8-10 years old and had been bugging my sister and her friend pretty much will all of my ability...which was GREAT if I do say so myself.

My great-grandmother (around 75-78 at the time) told me to stop.

I didnt.

She told me to stop again...

Order was ignored again.

Thats when her lid officially became flipped. She told me to get the switch. So I obeyed and went to retrieve the switch.

It was at this point in time where my common sense failed to work. I KNEW in the back of my mind that my sweet Gan-Gan (who normally worshipped me) was not REALLY gonna hurt me. Still, I thought it would be a good idea to gently snap (not completely break) the switch every inch or so until it basically became a skinny wooden rope and lost its given efficacy of a switch. At the time, I recall thinking "this aint gonna end well for me", but I handed it to her.

She looked at me, spit her snuff out (in hindsight, this is when I should have ran away), and told me to get my dad's big belt.

I told her that I couldnt...I didnt know where they were...which was a lie, because I had just hidden them. BRILLIANT, right? Uh, no...not so much.

My Gan-Gan, who I KNEW would not really hurt me, then proceeded to take a few steps to the left into the restroom. She beant over, unscrewed the long wooden handle from the plunger and turned towards me, walking with what one can only describe as a heightended sense of determination.

This was no longer my Gan-Gan. I didnt know who this woman was. I can still see her eyes. All I knew was I was about to die...or at least pray for death. It had been a good run.

Luckily when she was about three feet from me my paralyzing sense of horror subsided and my body allowed me to run. And I RAN. As fast as I could, out the back door of the house.

When I hit the ground a few feet from the last stair going outside I can still vividly recall the sight of my sister and her friend pointing and laughing at me. Of course I wanted to stop and take proper issue with this behavior but I didnt. Luckily my little guardian angel I had sitting on my shoulder was now clinching to my shirt collar and ear lobe screaming at the top of his lungs with fear in his voice..."TURN AROUND [email protected]$...TURN AROUND!!!!"

The woman who I formerly knew as Gan-Gan, still apparently hell bent on removing me from this world, had not yet given up on her pursuit. She was half-way down the stairs and picking up speed.

My sister would later describe the look on my face as I came down the stairs as "scared sh...ess"...and hysterical.

After I cleared about 50 yards from the back yard and had safely scaled my neighbors fence, I checked my shorts (they were clean) and heard the calm, cool collected, determined woman, formerly known as Gan-Gan, standing at the property line pointing the instrument of death at me repeating to herself "he has to come home...I'll get him then."

I went home later that night after taking sanctuary at an undisclosed location for about 6 hours. She had calmed down and just stared at me when I walked in. The plunger handle was no where in sight or at least she was not Open Carrying it. I apologized to which she scoffed and vowed to finish the job next time that my "[email protected]$$ pulls something like that."

I never messed with the old lady after that. Never. Ever. Not once.

You want to make my 42 year old sister laugh hysterically. Call her up, almost 30 years after said event, and say two words. "PLUNGER HANDLE". Gets her everytime. Tears will be in her eyes.

Point of story...beatings and near death experiences work.

That, and don't mess with anyone one named Gan-Gan...theyre not who you think they are.
 

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So, about what? In a month or three? he'll be old enough to walk, if not already, and you can teach him to go outside and cut his own switches. :)
I used to have to do that. And if the one I cut wasn't good enough, I had to get an even better one than "good enough." My dad took it up a notch by making us get an extra thick one (he always told us precisely where to go on which plant -- we didn't have any hickories there) by slowly whittling the switch to the desired thickness, making a pile of curly slivers on a sheet of newspaper in the floor, making us watch, and telling is about what we did wrong until the switch was ready for use.
 

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Discussion Starter · #40 ·
My dad had a paddle - and in large, bold letters it read "Board of Education".
 
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