Todays Joke

Discussion in 'Off-topic' started by Adam5, May 31, 2007.

  1. Adam5

    Adam5 Atlanta Overwatch

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    Special Delivery

    It was mailman George's last day on the job after 35 years of delivering the mail through all kinds of weather. When he arrived at the first house on his route, the whole family came out, roundly congratulated him, and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
    At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

    At the next house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

    When he'd had enough, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

    "All this is just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

    "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that I wanted to do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Screw him. Give him a dollar.'"

    "Breakfast was my idea."
     

  2. rajl

    rajl New Member

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    Haha.....I love it.
     
  3. Macktee

    Macktee New Member

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    I guess we can don't have to be told....................




    because, obviously, she's a blond!
     
  4. Rammstein

    Rammstein New Member

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    Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her first night in the White House. She has waited so long...

    The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Washington says, "Never tell a lie."

    "Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that."

    The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?" Jefferson says, "Listen to the people."

    "Ohhh! I really don't want to do that."

    On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

    Lincoln says, "Go to the theater."
     
  5. ptsmith24

    ptsmith24 New Member

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    :lol:
     
  6. merlock

    merlock New Member

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    :rotfl:
     
  7. Boy Racer

    Boy Racer New Member

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    A little girl is having her 8th birthday party. The presents have been opened, the cake has been eaten, and mom's in the kitchen doing the dishes. The kids are playing in the backyard when suddenly they all come running into the kitchen.

    The little birthday girl asks her mom: 'Mommy, can an eight year old girl get pregnant?'

    The mother answers: 'No, sweetheart, that's ridiculous. An eight year old girl is much too young to have a baby.'

    The little girl replies: 'OK, mommy, thanks!'

    She turns around and announces to the crowd: 'Alright, everybody, back in the shed, same game!'

    :shock:
     
  8. Adam5

    Adam5 Atlanta Overwatch

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    Blond joke

    How do you amke a blonde laugh on a Friday night?
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    Tell her a joke on a Monday morning. :shock:
     
  9. GeorgiaGlocker

    GeorgiaGlocker Romans 1:16

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    Adam5 look what you have started. :roll:
     
  10. Adam5

    Adam5 Atlanta Overwatch

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    I'm just a bad influence on the group. :p