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Atlanta Overwatch
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The Firing Squad

A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad for his crimes. The evening before his execution, he was asked what he wanted for his last meal. He refused the meal completely.
The next morning the man was brought before the firing squad. When asked for his last request, the man said he had none. The General in charge of his execution asked him, ''Sir, you refused your last meal and your last request. Isn't there anything you want before you die?''

The man thought for a moment, then said, ''Music has always been an important part of my life. If I could do but one thing before I die, would you allow me to sing my favorite song from beginning to end, without interruption?''

The General thought this was a reasonable request, and ordered his men to lower their weapons and to not interrupt for the duration of the song.

''Ten million bottles of beer on the wall...''
 

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Token Liberal Hippie
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GW Bush, Cheney, and Colin Powell are all captured by the Taliban and sentenced to death by firing squad. They're taken out to a wall and offered blindfolds, cigarettes, and a chance for last words.

Powell is the first one with his back to the wall. The officer asks him what his last words are. He screams, "TORNADO!" and all the members of the firing squad turn around, and he scrambles over the wall to safety.

Cheney is up next. His last words are, "EARTHQUAKE!" and once again, all the members of the squad look behind them, leaving him an opportunity to jump over the wall.

GW sees what happened before him, and gets a really clever idea. They put his back against the wall, light his cigarette, and ask him for any last words.

He thinks and thinks, and finally shouts...


































"FIRE!"
 

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Ohhhhhhh snake!

That was baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Funny and probably closer to the truth than we'd really like to believe, but bad.

Of course, I loved it!


Did you hear about the priest, the politician and the engineer who had been sentenced to death in France? For the sake of brevity, we'll just skip over their crimes, suffice it to say, they were all guilty.

First up the steps to the guillotine was the priest. "Facing up or down?" asked the executioner. "UP! So I can see my heavenly home as I die" said the priest. The executioner complied and proceeded to pull the rope. The blade jammed. The crowd went wild screaming it was a miracle and calling for his release. The governor agreed and the priest walked off.

Next up was the politician. Same question. Seeing how it worked for the priest, he also went facing up. Same thing happened. Again, the prisoner walked away a free man.

Last was the engineer. Same question and same response. Just as the executioner was about to pull the release rope, the engineer said, "Wait a minute. I think I see the problem."

I've heard that story many times yet I still don't understand it... But, it cracks my wife up completely!

#-o
 

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GAGunOwner said:
Three college graduates are sentenced to death by guillotine.

First up is a GA State graduate. He is asked his last words and he says, "Forgive me God I didn't take football seriously enough in this life." Then the executioner drops the blade and it stops right before it hits the graduates neck. The executioner says that since it didn't work, and you went through all of that horror we'll have to let you go. The GA State graduate quickly leaves and goes on to continue making a lot of money.

Second up is a UGA Graduate. He is asked his last words and he screams, "Go Dawgs!" Then the executioner drops the blade and it also stops right before it hits his neck. The executioner says we'll have to let you go because it didn't work and you must have went through so much horror. The UGA graduate quickly goes back to his job at McDonald's.

Third is a GA Tech graduate. When he is asked his last words he says, "If you adjust that knob on the guillotine just a little it will work perfectly next time."
\

Now that will find it's way onto several sports related forums. :)
 

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Macktee said:
Last was the engineer. Same question and same response. Just as the executioner was about to pull the release rope, the engineer said, "Wait a minute. I think I see the problem."

I've heard that story many times yet I still don't understand it... But, it cracks my wife up completely!

#-o
Having worked with engineers for so long, I totally get this. :lol:
 
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