The Firing Squad

Discussion in 'Off-topic' started by Adam5, Jul 13, 2007.

  1. Adam5

    Adam5 Atlanta Overwatch

    The Firing Squad

    A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad for his crimes. The evening before his execution, he was asked what he wanted for his last meal. He refused the meal completely.
    The next morning the man was brought before the firing squad. When asked for his last request, the man said he had none. The General in charge of his execution asked him, ''Sir, you refused your last meal and your last request. Isn't there anything you want before you die?''

    The man thought for a moment, then said, ''Music has always been an important part of my life. If I could do but one thing before I die, would you allow me to sing my favorite song from beginning to end, without interruption?''

    The General thought this was a reasonable request, and ordered his men to lower their weapons and to not interrupt for the duration of the song.

    ''Ten million bottles of beer on the wall...''
  2. Sharky

    Sharky Active Member


    man that was funny

  3. gsusnake

    gsusnake Token Liberal Hippie

    GW Bush, Cheney, and Colin Powell are all captured by the Taliban and sentenced to death by firing squad. They're taken out to a wall and offered blindfolds, cigarettes, and a chance for last words.

    Powell is the first one with his back to the wall. The officer asks him what his last words are. He screams, "TORNADO!" and all the members of the firing squad turn around, and he scrambles over the wall to safety.

    Cheney is up next. His last words are, "EARTHQUAKE!" and once again, all the members of the squad look behind them, leaving him an opportunity to jump over the wall.

    GW sees what happened before him, and gets a really clever idea. They put his back against the wall, light his cigarette, and ask him for any last words.

    He thinks and thinks, and finally shouts...

  4. Macktee

    Macktee New Member

    Ohhhhhhh snake!

    That was baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Funny and probably closer to the truth than we'd really like to believe, but bad.

    Of course, I loved it!

    Did you hear about the priest, the politician and the engineer who had been sentenced to death in France? For the sake of brevity, we'll just skip over their crimes, suffice it to say, they were all guilty.

    First up the steps to the guillotine was the priest. "Facing up or down?" asked the executioner. "UP! So I can see my heavenly home as I die" said the priest. The executioner complied and proceeded to pull the rope. The blade jammed. The crowd went wild screaming it was a miracle and calling for his release. The governor agreed and the priest walked off.

    Next up was the politician. Same question. Seeing how it worked for the priest, he also went facing up. Same thing happened. Again, the prisoner walked away a free man.

    Last was the engineer. Same question and same response. Just as the executioner was about to pull the release rope, the engineer said, "Wait a minute. I think I see the problem."

    I've heard that story many times yet I still don't understand it... But, it cracks my wife up completely!

  5. legacy38

    legacy38 Well-Known Member


    Now that will find it's way onto several sports related forums. :)
  6. merlock

    merlock Active Member

    First time I heard this was in the 70's.
    The 3rd one was a Polock. Polock tells the executioner:
    "Put a little grease in the grooves, the blade comes down a lot easier." :lol:
  7. ptsmith24

    ptsmith24 New Member

    Since when did Georgia State have a football team? :?
  8. tace

    tace New Member

    Having worked with engineers for so long, I totally get this. :lol:
  9. ptsmith24

    ptsmith24 New Member