THE FINAL "PROGRESSIVE" INSPECTION A Progressive stood and faced God, Which must always come to pass. He hoped his shoes were shining, As he coyly thought kiss my ass.. 'Step forward now, Progressive, How shall I deal with you? Have you always turned the other cheek? To My Church have you been true?' The Progressive squared his shoulders and said, 'No, Lord, I guess I ain't. Because those of us who are Progressive, deem are selves to be saints. I've hardly had to work a day, And at times my talk was fluff, and at times I've been violent, Because the world has not had enough. I took every penny, that wasn't mine to keep... I never worked any overtime, I just took more from the sheep. I never offered any help, Though at times I shook with fear, how dare them say I don't deserve at times I evoked more fear. I really do deserve a place, among your people here, we can have a teachable moment, we can drink free beer. This place that I demand oh Lord, It should really be so grand. I've always expected more than this, I hope you understand. There was a silence all around the throne, Where the saints had often trod. As the Progressive waited quietly, For the judgment of his God. 'Step forward now, Progressive, You've not borne your burdens well. Walk peacefully right down that street, it leads straight to Hell.'