Something truly amazing happened to me a few days ago. I don't really know how to even begin to explain how happy I am...and proud. I guess I really shouldn't give too many details on a public forum, but I really have to share this. I will be careful to not identify anyone, as I made a promise a long time ago to protect and love a little boy who was not my biological son, as if he were my very own. My first marriage ended when my ex wife found "greener pastures". I raised her little boy as if he were my own son, and I remember being the only "parent" who attended his PTA meetings, who sat and chatted with him when he cried, confused why his mom and dad were arguing over him, etc. I taught him how to be a gentleman, to stand up to bullies and how to treat his real friends. Even when his mother and I were having our differences, I made it a point to never get him involved - I protected his innocence. He was always a very observant and intelligent boy. When his mother left, she did so while I was at work, and took everything that wasn't nailed down. She also placed a DV restraining order on me (in the attempt to try and get child support from when the baby she was pregnant with -not mine- was born). She disappeared and I never saw him again, until a couple days ago. I did get a divorce - hired a PI to find her - she had remarried and had 2 children, the problem was, we were still married. The Judge granted me a divorce in 5 minutes. 4 years had lapsed. I asked for nothing. Then, a complete chance encounter led me straight to my stepson a few days ago. We were both happy to see each other. We are making plans to catch up on all the years we missed each other. I won't tell him what happened - he already knows enough now to have told me ..."You did right by me. You improved me as a person, what happened to you was unjust." I am overwhelmed. I worried and prayed every single day ....every day. Now my heart can rest easy. He is a man, and a nice one too.
That is excellent that you have a chance to see the fruits of your labor (I know, when we do things in love, it doesn't seem like labor). I'm glad to hear he has turned into a good man & recognizes the love you poured into him during the time you had. You made an investment in that child's life, and he is changed because of it. Without rehashing the negatives of what happened, I hope you two can restore the relationship that was interrupted. While that child has grown up, now there is a young man who might just be in need of a mentor & someone who cares about him. I may be more than coincidence that your paths crossed at this time.
The last time I saw him was 2007. He and all his friends are planning to take me to a restaurant in a few weeks. All these mixed emotions .... Pride, love, relief he survived, pain that I couldn't be there to see him enter adulthood. It is so hard to describe. I have never felt this way before and I am not even sure if there is a word for it. I made a promise to a confused and hurt child - and I will follow through. It was a promise for life. It's like God looked down and smiled on us both.
While you couldn't be there, know that the seeds that you planted many years ago were growing and multiplying. They helped transform him from that confused & hurt child into the mature young man that he is now. You say you aren't sure if there is a word to describe your emotions right now. The word that keeps popping out at me is love. More specifically agape love, that unconditional love. You loved & nurtured him as your own. You prayed and longed for him when ya'll were apart. Love is a choice, and you chose to love him. He recognizes how you loved him. I think God is definitely smiling down on you both and showing you that your efforts were not in vain.
This is great to hear. I also think there is something that happens to a boy when he is around a positive male influence. They never forget it, especially if they did not have a father to provide that influence. Sounds like you were there for someone who needed you to be there for them, in that, thanks, not really from me, but for him.
Thanks guys. I am looking forward to the day we go fishing together (and when he meets his two little brothers). My wife knows how I feel and is happy I saw him again. My mother, sisters, my dad and all his step cousins .... Thrilled. I don't want to overwhelm him. My grandmother still considers him her great grandson.