Men in Walmart

Discussion in 'Off-topic' started by slabertooch, Aug 30, 2007.

  1. slabertooch

    slabertooch New Member

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    This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
    DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........

    After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
    accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

    Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men -- he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

    Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women -- she loved to
    browse.


    One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

    Dear Mrs. Fenton,


    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
    cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
    carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute
    intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's
    restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
    "Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
    layaway.

    6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

    7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
    shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
    the bedding department.

    8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

    9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

    12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

    14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

    And last, but not least,

    15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
    then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

    Regards,

    Wal-Mart
     

  2. Adam5

    Adam5 Atlanta Overwatch

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  3. budder

    budder Moderator Staff Member

  4. Dan4010

    Dan4010 New Member

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    Too darn funny..........
     
  5. ber950

    ber950 Active Member

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    Forwarding to wife. :rotfl2:
    :rotfl:
     
  6. tj2000

    tj2000 Guest

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    Toooooo Funny......

    We need an icon that spews liquid out its nose because diet coke burns like a son of a gun and now IT is going to have to replace my kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeey bbbbbbbbbbbbboarddddddddddddddd.
    See what I mean.

    :rotfl2:
     
  7. cdtracing

    cdtracing New Member

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    That one is going to get forwarded to many people.

    Too funny.

    Chris
     
  8. USMC - Retired

    USMC - Retired Active Member

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    Re: Toooooo Funny......

    [​IMG]
     
  9. ArmyCW4

    ArmyCW4 Guest

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    Just forwarded it my wife.. :woohoo:
     
  10. glockgirl

    glockgirl Guest

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    ok ok I admit it... i take the boyfriend when he doesn't want to go... I always tell him he doesn't HAVE too (while coyly batting my adorable eyes and making a cute puppy face). Last night I drug him to the fish store....
     
  11. budder

    budder Moderator Staff Member

    That sounds kind of naughty.
     
  12. Macktee

    Macktee New Member

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    Another example of Georgia's premier educational system...

    "Last night I dragged him to the fish store...."


    You're welcome. :wink:
     
  13. glockgirl

    glockgirl Guest

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    i didn't go to school in georgia. I did contemplate the correct word choice for that sentence but realized it didn't matter all that much.

    so bite me
     
  14. slabertooch

    slabertooch New Member

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    Depending on what kind of fish store you are talking about, you might have needed to drug him.