I have a question for you guys and gals...

Discussion in 'Off-topic' started by Macktee, Apr 2, 2007.

  1. Macktee

    Macktee New Member

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    As some of you know, I have a nice woodworking shop in the basement.

    A couple of days ago, I had an upsetting experience that raised a question I really need answered.

    I was in my shop testing the fit of a dado joint and got the mother of all splinters stuck in the fat part of my thumb. It hurt!

    I went to the first-aid kit to get the tweezers. They're pretty nice woodworking tweezers with a built-in magnifying glass that work great on splinters. Well, when I started to dig around for the splinter, my thumb started to bleed quite a bit. When that happened, I got sick to my stomach, and then I fainted. I have been, sometimes, a little bit queasy about blood (especially my own!!!), but this reaction came as a real shock and surprise!

    Apparently, not that I remember it happening, I hit my head on the edge of my jointer's bed as I fell. This put a pretty nasty laceration across my forehead. After I regained consciousness, I stood up and tried to figure out just exactly what happened, and while I stood there, the blood from my forehead spurted all over the top of my table saw.

    When I saw the blood on my table saw, I got faint-headed and passed out again!

    Luckily, this time around I just kinda slumped down and ended up face-first in a large pile of sawdust. When I came to my senses, the congealed blood on my face and forehead had formed a sort of mask, covering my whole face. Naturally, I thought I had gone blind.

    So I stumbled towards where I thought the door should be and, by a sort of miracle, managed to find my way outside. But when I emerged in my weakened condition, weaving aimlessly and with my cries for help muffled by a huge clotted mass of blood and sawdust, I crossed the invisible fence and ended up in the neighbor's yard. Although I've known this dog (Buster) since he was a puppy, he apparently noticed my very odd behavior or the smell of blood or my yelling or something set him off and the damn dog attacked me.

    Fortunately, he didn't bite, but he kept grabbing my pants leg in his mouth while growling and pulling furiously, almost like it was a game or something. As a couple of you also know, I've lost a bit of weight lately and my pants are getting a little baggy and saggy. Anyway, the dog managed to pull my trousers completely off.

    That was when my neighbor, Phoebe, stuck her head out the door to see what was causing all the noise and getting her dog all worked up.

    So, here is my question.

    Am I really getting too old to be wearing Speedo® underwear, or is Phoebe just overly sensitive?


    I'd appreciate your opinions...
     
  2. Adam5

    Adam5 Atlanta Overwatch

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    :lol: You had me going on that one. Whatever you do, DON'T wear a Speedo.

    Jenn and I were in Mexico on a tops optional beach one day. All was fine, until a pair of women who had to be in their 70s walked by wearing nothing but g-strings and sunglasses. They were closely followed by their husbands, who were the same age, wearing Speedos. I thought I was going to go blind!!! I mean, they were way older than even Mack is !!!
     

  3. Rammstein

    Rammstein New Member

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    Adam5, you should have gone over there and been like "hey....hey....knock it off. People are trying to enjoy themselves here."

    EEeewwwww old wrinkled skin. It sickens me.
     
  4. Adam5

    Adam5 Atlanta Overwatch

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    I had to make a run for the nearest bar. I NEEDED a drink after seeing that !!
     
  5. Rammstein

    Rammstein New Member

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    It probably had to be grain alcohol to get that picture out of your head.
     
  6. USMC - Retired

    USMC - Retired Active Member

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    Mack,
    You owe me one keyboard, legal pad and a clean shirt....
     
  7. glockgirl

    glockgirl Guest

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    ok I was thinking what a wimp if he passes out at blood... you had me going.

    if you keep it up I will show them the picture of the "clydesdales"
     
  8. Rammstein

    Rammstein New Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  9. Macktee

    Macktee New Member

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    Hey! That was sent to you in confidence.

    It would be a major breach of etiquette for you to show it to anyone else.


    Just remember, I may just have some pics of you.....
     
  10. glockgirl

    glockgirl Guest

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    There is only one person this board with a pic of me!!!

    actually I am camera shy so not many pics get out. and no I am not a barefoot, pregnant redneck like some of my coworkers think.... barefoot and redneck yes, pregnant no.... :D
     
  11. USMC - Retired

    USMC - Retired Active Member

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    And as long as the checks keep coming that picture will remain safely tucked away... Of course if the bids were to go high enough... :twisted:
     
  12. glockgirl

    glockgirl Guest

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    wondering if you had read this USMC.... BTW thanks for trying but he didn't email....

    BTW I need a range buddy now if anyone is in athens anytime... my range buddy and I had a difference of opinion to say the least... I always find the range more fun if I know people there.

    Back to macktee and the speedo.... it is a great diet plan! Somewhere between anorexia and bulimina
     
  13. USMC - Retired

    USMC - Retired Active Member

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    GG, My bust on that, he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and says he don't want to "complicate" things. Plus just last week he got orders to recruiting school so he'll be leaving in June anyhow. Sorry for the confusion. His replacement should be here in July, not sure if he is single or not.... :wink:
     
  14. glockgirl

    glockgirl Guest

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    poor guy going recruiting..... that was the beginning of the the end of my marriage.... Recruiting is the worst duty ever in my mind...
     
  15. GeorgiaGlocker

    GeorgiaGlocker Romans 10:13

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    That's the damnest story I've ever heard. :shock: That would have shocked Dwight D. Eisenhower :shock:
     
  16. Adam5

    Adam5 Atlanta Overwatch

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    I've got $10 to open the bidding :!:
     
  17. glockgirl

    glockgirl Guest

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    shoot if there is money in it I can get a better pic....

    you should pay me for the pic of macktee
     
  18. foshizzle

    foshizzle New Member

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    Is it possible to be blinded by the internet?

    Everything is dark... and cold...
     
  19. ICP_Juggalo

    ICP_Juggalo Professional Troll

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    Geez louise Macktee, you been hittin the Nyquil again!? :drink: