Gun control is good for us!

Discussion in 'Off-topic' started by gsusnake, Aug 19, 2007.

  1. gsusnake

    gsusnake Token Liberal Hippie

    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -Benjamin Franklin, 1759

    1. Banning guns works, which is why New York, DC, & Chicago cops need guns.

    2. Washington DC's low murder rate of 69 per 100,000 is due to strict gun
    control, and Indianapolis' high murder rate of 9 per 100,000 is due to the
    lack of gun control.

    3. Statistics showing high murder rates justify gun control but statistics
    showing increasing murder rates after gun control are "just statistics."

    4. The Brady Bill and the Assault Weapons Ban, both of which went into
    effect in 1994 are responsible for the decrease in violent crime rates,
    which have been declining since 1991.

    5. We must get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a shooting
    spree at any time and anyone who would own a gun out of fear of such a
    lunatic is paranoid.

    6. The more helpless you are the safer you are from criminals.

    7. An intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but if shot
    with a .357 Magnum will get angry and kill you.

    8. A woman raped and strangled is morally superior to a woman with a smoking
    gun and a dead rapist at her feet.

    9. When confronted by violent criminals, you should "put up no defense -
    give them what they want, or run" (Handgun Control Inc. Chairman Pete
    Shields, Guns Don't Die - People Do, 1981, p. 125).

    10. The New England Journal of Medicine is filled with expert advice about
    guns; just like Guns & Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart surgery.

    11. One should consult an automotive engineer for safer seatbelts, a civil
    engineer for a better bridge, a surgeon for internal medicine, a computer
    programmer for hard drive problems, and Sarah Brady for firearms expertise.

    12. The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, refers to the National Guard, which
    was created 130 years later, in 1917.

    13. The National Guard, federally funded, with bases on federal land, using
    federally-owned weapons, vehicles, buildings and uniforms, punishing
    trespassers under federal law, is a "state" militia.

    14. These phrases: "right of the people peaceably to assemble," "right of
    the people to be secure in their homes," "enumerations herein of certain
    rights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by the people,"
    and "The powers not delegated herein are reserved to the states
    respectively, and to the people" all refer to individuals, but "the right of
    the people to keep and bear arms" refers to the state.

    15. "The Constitution is strong and will never change." But we should ban
    and seize all guns thereby violating the 2nd, 4th, and 5th Amendments to
    that Constitution.

    16. Rifles and handguns aren't necessary to national defense! Of course, the
    army has hundreds of thousands of them.

    17. Private citizens shouldn't have handguns, because they aren't "military
    weapons'', but private citizens shouldn't have "assault rifles'', because
    they are military weapons.

    18. In spite of waiting periods, background checks, fingerprinting,
    government forms, etc., guns today are too readily available, which is
    responsible for recent school shootings. In the 1940's, 1950's and 1960's,
    anyone could buy guns at hardware stores, army surplus stores, gas stations,
    variety stores, Sears mail order, no waiting, no background check, no
    fingerprints, no government forms and there were no school shootings.

    19. The NRA's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign about kids handling
    guns is propaganda, but the anti-gun lobby's attempt to run a "don't touch"
    campaign is responsible social activity.

    20. Guns are so complex that special training is necessary to use them
    properly, and so simple to use that they make murder easy.

    21. A handgun, with up to 4 controls, is far too complex for the typical
    adult to learn to use, as opposed to an automobile that only has 20.

    22. Women are just as intelligent and capable as men but a woman with a gun
    is "an accident waiting to happen" and gun makers' advertisements aimed at
    women are "preying on their fears."

    23. Ordinary people in the presence of guns turn into slaughtering butchers
    but revert to normal when the weapon is removed.

    24. Guns cause violence, which is why there are so many mass killings at gun

    25. A majority of the population supports gun control, just like a majority
    of the population supported owning slaves.

    26. Any self-loading small arm can legitimately be considered to be a
    "weapon of mass destruction" or an "assault weapon."

    27. Most people can't be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which
    most people will abide by because they can be trusted.

    28. The right of pornographers and hate spewing political pundits to exist cannot be questioned
    because it is constitutionally protected by the Bill of Rights, but the use
    of handguns for self defense is not really protected by the Bill of Rights.

    29. Free speech entitles one to own newspapers, transmitters, computers, and
    typewriters, but self- defense only justifies bare hands.

    30. The ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly defends certain parts of
    the Constitution, and the NRA is bad, because it defends other parts of the

    31. Charlton Heston, a movie actor as president of the NRA is a cheap
    lunatic who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas, a movie actor as a
    representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who is
    entitled to an audience at the UN arms control summit.

    32. Police operate with backup within groups, which is why they need larger
    capacity pistol magazines than do "civilians" who must face criminals alone
    and therefore need less ammunition.

    33. We should ban "Saturday Night Specials" and other inexpensive guns
    because it's not fair that poor people have access to guns too.

    34. Police officers have some special Jedi-like mastery over handguns that
    private citizens can never hope to obtain.

    35. Private citizens don't need a gun for self- protection because the
    police are there to protect them even though the Supreme Court says the
    police are not responsible for their protection.

    36. Citizens don't need to carry a gun for personal protection but police
    chiefs, who are desk-bound administrators who work in a building filled with
    cops, need a gun.

    37. "Assault weapons" have no purpose other than to kill large numbers of
    people. The police need assault weapons. You do not.

    38. When Microsoft pressures its distributors to give Microsoft preferential
    promotion, that's bad; but when the Federal government pressures cities to
    buy guns only from Smith & Wesson, that's good.

    39. Trigger locks do not interfere with the ability to use a gun for
    defensive purposes, which is why you see police officers with one on their
    duty weapon.
  2. gsusnake

    gsusnake Token Liberal Hippie

    Yes, I'm sure it's a repost, and I know it's older than Macktee and Bulldawg put together, but it's still funny.

  3. triggerman357

    triggerman357 Active Member

    Repost or not, loved reading it.
  4. ptsmith24

    ptsmith24 New Member

  5. budder

    budder Moderator Staff Member

    It's older than the universe itself?
  6. foshizzle

    foshizzle New Member

    When clubs are outlawed only outlaws (and neanderthals) will have clubs. :oldtimer:
  7. merlock

    merlock Active Member

  8. wsweeks2

    wsweeks2 New Member

    Your father in law approves Snake!!! :lol:

    Great read though, and thanks for posting!
  9. merlock

    merlock Active Member

    :?: :?: :?:

    :shock: :?

  10. wsweeks2

    wsweeks2 New Member

    Sorry Merlock. It's just too easy after what's going on in the other thread.
  11. merlock

    merlock Active Member

    I know... :roll: