We need the Brady Bunch to focus on getting these things banned from public gatherings..... Man Charged With Assault for Throwing Cheetos at Dad Tuesday, September 04, 2007 DES MOINES, Iowa â€” A Des Moines man was charged with domestic assault Sunday after throwing a bag of Cheetos at his father. Twenty-two-year-old Patrick Hamman was arrested after the bag of cheesy chips hit his father, Michael Hamman, in the face. Police said the bag hit his father's glasses, causing a cut to the bridge of his nose. The police report said â€” quoteâ€” "Michael's T-shirt was also covered in Cheeto dust." Police said Patrick, who lives with his father, admitted that he was on methamphetamine at the time of the argument. Next will be Kit-Kat calling..