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I've tried to Snopes this, but no joy. If it's true, I like the way this LEO thinks.

INDIANAPOLIS METROPOLITAN POLICE DEPARTMENT FOR PUBLIC RELEASE CASE REPORT: 07-0104431 - 0000

INCIDENT: 584 PUBLIC INTOXICATION
INVOLVEMENT: OFFICER #xxx
LOCATION: E 62ND ST/N COLLEGE AV
GEO ZONE: 259011 AREA: MND BEAT: ND52
OCCURRED: 07/08/2007 03:26 TO 07/08/2007 04:00
ARRESTS: 1 INJURED: 0 DEAD: 0 VEHICLE TOWED: 0

PERSON: 1
PERSON INVOLVEMENT: ARR ARRESTED
PERSON NAME: Mxxxxx,JAMES A
RACE: W WHITE SEX: M MALE
DATE OF BIRTH: 01/22/1982 AGE: 25
ADDRESS: xxxxxxxxx
CITY, STATE, ZIP: INDIANAPOLIS IN 46236HOME PHONE: (317)xxx-xxxxDATE OF ARREST: 07/08/2007
ARREST LOCATION: E 62ND ST/N COLLEGE AV, INDIANAPOLISCHARGE: 07.1-0005-0001-0003 PUBLIC INTOXICATION/MB

NARRATIVE:
ON 07/08/07, AT APPROXIMATELY 0326 HOURS, I WAS TRAVELING
NORTHBOUND IN THE 6100 BLOCK OF N. COLLEGE AVE. IN MY FULLY
MARKED IMPD POLICE VEHICLE AND IN FULL UNIFORM. I HAD MY WINDOWS ROLLED DOWN. I HEARD A MALE VOICE CALLING FOR A PIG, HE WAS SAYING "SUEY, PIGGY, PIGGY". I LOOKED OVER AND OBSERVED THREE WHITE MALES AND A WHITE FEMALE WALKING SOUTHBOUND ON THE EAST SIDE OF N. COLLEGE AVE. ONE OF THE WHITE MALES WEARING BLUE JEANS AND A LIGHT COLORED BUTTONED UP SHIRT LOOKED DIRECTLY AT ME WITH RED GLASSY BLOODSHOT EYES AND SAID, "SUEY PIGGY, PIGGY." I WAS CONCERNED THAT THE MAN HAD LOST HIS PIG AND THAT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ROAMING AROUND IN THE BROAD RIPPLE AREA SO I DECIDED TO STOP AND ASSIST HIM, BECAUSE I KNOW HOW DEVASTATING A LOST OF PET CAN BE.

I IDENTIFIED THE WHITE MALE SUBJECT FROM AN INDIANA DRIVER'S LICENSE AS JAMES ADAM Mxxxxxx, DOB 1/22/82. WHILE I WAS SPEAKING WITH MR. Mxxxxxx ABOUT HIS POSSIBLE LOST PIG, I SMELLED A STRONG ODOR COMMONLY ASSOCIATED WITH ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES ON HIS BREATH AND PERSON. HIS SPEECH WAS ALSO SLIGHTLY SLURRED. I PLACED MR. Mxxxxx UNDER ARREST FOR PUBLIC INTOXICATION AND HE WAS TRANSPORTED TO THE APC BY A MARION COUNTY JAIL WAGON.

I SEARCHED THE ENTIRE BROAD RIPPLE AREA AND UNFORTUNATELY WAS NOT ABLE TO LOCATE ANY LOST PIGS. I HOPE I FIND IT BEFORE THE GUY AT DICKS BODACIS BARBECUE DOES.ALL OF THE ABOVE OCCURRED IN MARION COUNTY, INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA.
OFFICER: Xxxxx Sxxxx,CHRISTOPHER L IMPD
OPERATOR: 07/08/2007 06:12 28010 xxxxxx, xxxxxx IMPD
You just can't fix stupid.
 

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budder said:
legacy38 said:
budder said:
If I ever do any policing, I hope to fill out lots of similar reports! :rofl2:
I've never gotten that creative in a report, but I have made a few interesting responses to what I perceived as a call for help. :twisted:
Do share!
Let's just say I've made more than one emergency U-turn to respond to a "call for help", and let's just say several of my fellow men in blue responded to assist me with my emergency situations. :) Sometimes the vehicle winds up in some interesting places too. :)
 

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I twice wrote fake use of force reports and handed them in (with the real one ready to replace it once the supervisor looked up in shock). :D

One was written in Elizabethan English, such as one might find in a King James Bible Old Testament passage, "I did fall upon him with the sword and smote him mightily so that he fell down and gave up the ghost." That sort of thing.

The other, I wrote, "Angered that this peon dared to stand up for his rights, I extended my baton when he was not looking and smacked him hard right behind the ear. 'Take that!' I yelled at him as I hit him again."

:lol:

Oh, I used to have fun.
 

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Malum Prohibitum said:
I twice wrote fake use of force reports and handed them in (with the real one ready to replace it once the supervisor looked up in shock). :D

One was written in Elizabethan English, such as one might find in a King James Bible Old Testament passage, "I did fall upon him with the sword and smote him mightily so that he fell down and gave up the ghost." That sort of thing.

The other, I wrote, "Angered that this peon dared to stand up for his rights, I extended my baton when he was not looking and smacked him hard right behind the ear. 'Take that!' I yelled at him as I hit him again."

:lol:

Oh, I used to have fun.
I've really got to quit reading this site while I'm drinking.
 

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gsusnake said:
Malum Prohibitum said:
I twice wrote fake use of force reports and handed them in (with the real one ready to replace it once the supervisor looked up in shock). :D

One was written in Elizabethan English, such as one might find in a King James Bible Old Testament passage, "I did fall upon him with the sword and smote him mightily so that he fell down and gave up the ghost." That sort of thing.

The other, I wrote, "Angered that this peon dared to stand up for his rights, I extended my baton when he was not looking and smacked him hard right behind the ear. 'Take that!' I yelled at him as I hit him again."

:lol:

Oh, I used to have fun.
I've really got to quit reading this site while I'm drinking.
That makes it that much more fun, though. :drink: 8)
 

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gsusnake said:
I've really got to quit reading this site while I'm drinking.
Thank God!

At least I'm not the only one...

If MP was a hoot in school he had to be two hoots and a half as a cop!!!
 
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