I've tried to Snopes this, but no joy. If it's true, I like the way this LEO thinks.
You just can't fix stupid.INDIANAPOLIS METROPOLITAN POLICE DEPARTMENT FOR PUBLIC RELEASE CASE REPORT: 07-0104431 - 0000
INCIDENT: 584 PUBLIC INTOXICATION
INVOLVEMENT: OFFICER #xxx
LOCATION: E 62ND ST/N COLLEGE AV
GEO ZONE: 259011 AREA: MND BEAT: ND52
OCCURRED: 07/08/2007 03:26 TO 07/08/2007 04:00
ARRESTS: 1 INJURED: 0 DEAD: 0 VEHICLE TOWED: 0
PERSON: 1
PERSON INVOLVEMENT: ARR ARRESTED
PERSON NAME: Mxxxxx,JAMES A
RACE: W WHITE SEX: M MALE
DATE OF BIRTH: 01/22/1982 AGE: 25
ADDRESS: xxxxxxxxx
CITY, STATE, ZIP: INDIANAPOLIS IN 46236HOME PHONE: (317)xxx-xxxxDATE OF ARREST: 07/08/2007
ARREST LOCATION: E 62ND ST/N COLLEGE AV, INDIANAPOLISCHARGE: 07.1-0005-0001-0003 PUBLIC INTOXICATION/MB
NARRATIVE:
ON 07/08/07, AT APPROXIMATELY 0326 HOURS, I WAS TRAVELING
NORTHBOUND IN THE 6100 BLOCK OF N. COLLEGE AVE. IN MY FULLY
MARKED IMPD POLICE VEHICLE AND IN FULL UNIFORM. I HAD MY WINDOWS ROLLED DOWN. I HEARD A MALE VOICE CALLING FOR A PIG, HE WAS SAYING "SUEY, PIGGY, PIGGY". I LOOKED OVER AND OBSERVED THREE WHITE MALES AND A WHITE FEMALE WALKING SOUTHBOUND ON THE EAST SIDE OF N. COLLEGE AVE. ONE OF THE WHITE MALES WEARING BLUE JEANS AND A LIGHT COLORED BUTTONED UP SHIRT LOOKED DIRECTLY AT ME WITH RED GLASSY BLOODSHOT EYES AND SAID, "SUEY PIGGY, PIGGY." I WAS CONCERNED THAT THE MAN HAD LOST HIS PIG AND THAT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ROAMING AROUND IN THE BROAD RIPPLE AREA SO I DECIDED TO STOP AND ASSIST HIM, BECAUSE I KNOW HOW DEVASTATING A LOST OF PET CAN BE.
I IDENTIFIED THE WHITE MALE SUBJECT FROM AN INDIANA DRIVER'S LICENSE AS JAMES ADAM Mxxxxxx, DOB 1/22/82. WHILE I WAS SPEAKING WITH MR. Mxxxxxx ABOUT HIS POSSIBLE LOST PIG, I SMELLED A STRONG ODOR COMMONLY ASSOCIATED WITH ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES ON HIS BREATH AND PERSON. HIS SPEECH WAS ALSO SLIGHTLY SLURRED. I PLACED MR. Mxxxxx UNDER ARREST FOR PUBLIC INTOXICATION AND HE WAS TRANSPORTED TO THE APC BY A MARION COUNTY JAIL WAGON.
I SEARCHED THE ENTIRE BROAD RIPPLE AREA AND UNFORTUNATELY WAS NOT ABLE TO LOCATE ANY LOST PIGS. I HOPE I FIND IT BEFORE THE GUY AT DICKS BODACIS BARBECUE DOES.ALL OF THE ABOVE OCCURRED IN MARION COUNTY, INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA.
OFFICER: Xxxxx Sxxxx,CHRISTOPHER L IMPD
OPERATOR: 07/08/2007 06:12 28010 xxxxxx, xxxxxx IMPD