A little humor-Rejected Hallmark Cards

Discussion in 'Off-topic' started by Doc Holliday, Mar 22, 2007.

  1. Doc Holliday

    Doc Holliday New Member

    633
    0
    0
    :lol: Bad day at Hallmark
    Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    My tire was thumping.

    I thought it was flat

    When I looked at the tire...

    I noticed your cat.

    Sorry!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Heard your wife left you,

    How upset you must be.

    But don't fret about it...

    She moved in with me.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Looking back over the years

    that we've been together,

    I can't help but wonder...

    "What the hell was I thinking?"


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Congratulations on your wedding day!

    Too bad no one likes your husband.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    How could two people as beautiful as you

    Have such an ugly baby?


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I've always wanted to have
    someone to hold,

    someone to love.

    After having met you ..

    I've changed my mind.


    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

    I never believed in Hell until I met you.


    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

    That you're not here to ruin it for me.


    ####################################################
    Congratulations on your promotion.

    Before you go...

    Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

    You'll probably need it again.


    ******************************************************************

    Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

    (Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

    Almost Lifelike!


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    When we were together,

    you always said you'd die for me.

    Now that we've broken up,

    I think it's time you kept your promise.


    ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    We have been friends for a very long time ..

    let's say we stop?

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    I'm so miserable without you

    it's almost like you're here.


    =====================================================
    Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

    Did you ever find out who the father was?


    %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

    Your friends and I wanted to do

    something special for your birthday.

    So we're having you put to sleep.


    ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    So your daughter's a hooker,

    and it spoiled your day.

    Look at the bright side,

    it's really good pay
     

  2. Adam5

    Adam5 Atlanta Overwatch

    13,288
    60
    48
    You can get that one in Alabama too, along with "Happy Birthday, Older Brother Dad!!" and "Sister Mom"
     
  3. rajl

    rajl New Member

    391
    0
    0
    Anyone ever listen to that old country song "I am my own grandpa"? :wink:
     
  4. ptsmith24

    ptsmith24 New Member

    8,809
    0
    0
    haha, good laughs.

    :lol:
     
  5. Foul

    Foul New Member

    780
    0
    0
    This is my favorite one to send out to a select few on VD. (Feb 14th, that is.)

    [​IMG]