2 Blondes didn't make it to Disney
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Good Grief! #-o
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if they steped it up a notch, you blondes wouldn't understand them.glockgirl said:
Sorry I just can't resist!!!!!!
Enjoy,
Seven degrees of Blondes
1st DEGREE:
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the
morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened
a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!"
and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I
don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."
2nd DEGREE:
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in
the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde
hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says,
"You dummy, it's me!"
3rd DEGREE:
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the
blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and
as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun an
puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
4th DEGREE:
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
5th DEGREE:
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
6th DEGREE:
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her
US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question then finally said,
"That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
7th DEGREE:
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the
blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and
his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands,
she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call
the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
:rotfl:
Enjoy,
Seven degrees of Blondes
1st DEGREE:
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the
morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened
a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!"
and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I
don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."
2nd DEGREE:
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in
the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde
hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says,
"You dummy, it's me!"
3rd DEGREE:
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the
blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and
as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun an
puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
4th DEGREE:
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
5th DEGREE:
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
6th DEGREE:
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her
US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
Bambi pondered the question then finally said,
"That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
7th DEGREE:
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the
radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the
blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and
his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands,
she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call
the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
:rotfl:
Joined
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4,792 Posts
A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head.
Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't do it..."
The blonde yells back, "Shut up! You're next!"
She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head.
Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't do it..."
The blonde yells back, "Shut up! You're next!"
Joined
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2,474 Posts
REPEAT!!!
-10 for you GG
see TJ2k's 3rd degree.
:lol:
-10 for you GG
see TJ2k's 3rd degree.
:lol:
Joined
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13,696 Posts
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies, "Yes."
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has on a ski jacket and a fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, "For best results, put on two coats."
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies, "Yes."
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has on a ski jacket and a fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, "For best results, put on two coats."
Joined
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1,368 Posts
One day this guy was jogging on the beach and he saw this really hot blond sunbathing and listening to her ipod. He stopped and stared and thought this was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
He decided to go over and tap her on the shoulder to tell her that he though she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. When he did she lifted one of the headphones off her ear and thanked him then went back to listening.
He then thought he should ask her out, so he tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to dinner. Again she lifted the headset, said yes and they agreed to meet at a nice place that evening for dinner.
The guy was all excited, he arrived early and was sitting at the table.
Then he saw her walk in, she was wearing a great dress and looked even better than she did at the beach. But she was still wearing the ipod headphones.
She sat down and he started talking to her at which point she would lift the headset to listen and then answer the question.
The guy was totally confused by this so he broke down and asked why she was wearing the headphones. She told him that if she removed them she would die. He said that she must surely be kidding and she said no, she would die.
He couldn't stand it so he reached over and grabbed the headset of the beautiful blond's head. She gasped and then her head fell dead onto the table.
He couldn't believe what he saw and then put the headphone on his head to see how this could be. When he did this he heard
"Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out.
:rotfl:
He decided to go over and tap her on the shoulder to tell her that he though she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. When he did she lifted one of the headphones off her ear and thanked him then went back to listening.
He then thought he should ask her out, so he tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to dinner. Again she lifted the headset, said yes and they agreed to meet at a nice place that evening for dinner.
The guy was all excited, he arrived early and was sitting at the table.
Then he saw her walk in, she was wearing a great dress and looked even better than she did at the beach. But she was still wearing the ipod headphones.
She sat down and he started talking to her at which point she would lift the headset to listen and then answer the question.
The guy was totally confused by this so he broke down and asked why she was wearing the headphones. She told him that if she removed them she would die. He said that she must surely be kidding and she said no, she would die.
He couldn't stand it so he reached over and grabbed the headset of the beautiful blond's head. She gasped and then her head fell dead onto the table.
He couldn't believe what he saw and then put the headphone on his head to see how this could be. When he did this he heard
"Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out.
:rotfl:
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